Mr Sitoh, say it like this lah

The Straits Times today honoured PAP Sitoh Yih Pin by excerpting his speech in Parliament for its Speech of the Day column. Mr Sitoh spoke about trust between the government and the government. Interesting. A few days ago, ST carried a report on the level of trust between the parties. While Singaporeans trust the G as an institution, they don’t trust the leaders when it comes to breaking bad news. Mr Sitoh didn’t mention the survey carried out by public relations firm Edelman, by the way. My guess is that he probably read the findings.

Anyway, he said the G should be courageous enough to tell the truth, even if it is unpleasant. No one can quarrel with that. Straight talk is always appreciated. Methinks it can be more hard hitting. So I will list his six hard truths – and with tongue half in cheek, rewrite them – and respond to them.

1. We will increase the number of places in universities and polytechnics and 60 per cent of Singaporeans will become PMETs, but some graduates will never stay in private housing or own a car. This is because 85 per cent of housing are HDB flats and only one-third of families have a car presently and these numbers will not change drastically.

Re-written: Hey, I know most of you young people are going to be university graduates, but face it, just because you have a degree, doesn’t mean you get to stay in a bungalow and drive a Ferrari. I mean, for every one of you, there are five others with your qualifications. How to give all a bungalow and a Ferrari? Remember that 85 per cent of people live in HDB flats and one in three families have a car now.

Response: Orh ok. Then I study for what? At least, can make the HDB flat bigger or nicer? And make sure the HDB price is not the price of a bungalow or private property? I don’t need a Ferrari. I don’t mind taking public transport. I hope by the time I start work, the trains and the buses are running properly. I mean, have you seen how jam-packed it is at peak hour? I can’t even get to school on time some days.

2. This country needs to continue to be run as a meritocracy. There is no other feasible alternative. The best will get more. One may rightly question the norms of meritocracy, as in what makes a person more meritorious? One may even ask why there are so many brand-name schools in the more affluent areas in Singapore and not in the new HDB estates. And in the harsh reality of meritocracy, we also expect the meritorious to do what is necessary for meritocracy to remain relevant – they must contribute more than others to the betterment of the society and maximise welfare for everyone living and working in Singapore. Meritocracy cannot be “take and take” by the best and the ablest without any obligation to serve and contribute.

Re-written: Man, you tell me lah, what to replace meritocracy with? If you work hard, you can get far and you get rewarded. That’s how it’s always been here. I think, I’m not sure, I mean… you go figure why the brand name schools are in rich people’s neighbourhood. But just because you are among the best, it doesn’t mean you think you are entitled to all good things in life. So give more of your time to the community, more of your money, more of your whatever…

Response: I can take meritocracy lah. But now I live in an HDB estate, and went to the school near my home. That school ah can’t be compared to the brand name ones, which got swanky buildings and smarter teachers. So these people don’t start from the same line as me, and therefore, can probably run faster and further from me. I get left behind how? Of course, if I become a doctor or lawyer, I definitely will do more for the HDB people, like give free legal advice or free medicine. (Even if I don’t, how can you tell?)

3. Even if we increase our total fertility rate to 2.1 in 2013 suddenly, we will need to import labour to care for the elderly over the next 20 years. The babies born now or in the near future will not be ready to look after the 900,000 baby boomers retiring over the next 20 years.

Re-written: You know, even if every couple have two children from now, we still won’t have enough people to take care of the old. People like your parents, you know how many there will be over 20 years – 900,000! So can stop grumbling about foreign workers and nurses and care-givers or not? You think you can take of so many people by yourself?

Response: You think my parents are what kind of people? They are educated, got degree, got savings, got medical insurance. They know how to keep healthy. Anyway, are you trying to scare me with 900,000 old people? For all you know, they will move to Johor or somewhere not so expensive. They are already complaining its crowded here.

4. Our public hospitals will continue to give good care that is accessible and affordable to all. But we will have to continue to have waiting times and the latest high-tech expensive care options will not be available to all.
Ultimately, health care is a trade-off between affordability, accessibility and quality. Usually, quality in terms of expensive care is of a lower priority, although we will not compromise patient safety. This is true for most developed countries in the world.

Re-written: When you get sick and go to hospital, you know you can pay your bill. Really! Believe me! Okay, so you have to wait a bit to see a doctor, and maybe that expensive drug or machine cannot use Medisave to pay for. But what to do? Everywhere else, the same.

Response: Touch wood! I don’t want to get sick at all. And are you sure I can still pay for medical bills when I get older? I don’t think the Medisave is mine. I mean, it’s mine but I can’t use the money for some things unless the Government says so. I suppose I can buy a lot of health insurance policies or just go somewhere else where it is cheaper to get the drug or medical treatment. Wait a minute! What if I can’t afford the drug? I will probably die? Cannot be.

5. We will make our public transport reliable again and increase capacity. But COEs may never go back to the days of old again. There are limits to our car population just as there are limits to our human population.

Re-written: Face it, kid. You might not even be able to buy the COE, much less the car. You think you can turn back the clock and get $1,000 COE? Fat hope! Anyway, can you imagine how crowded the roads will be? You might as well take public transport. Don’t worry it won’t have so many breakdowns and you will be able to breathe on the bus and train.

Response: You sure bus and train fares will still be cheap? I mean, someone has to pay for the drivers and all that right? COE? Huh, already given up hope.

6. We will limit the influx of foreign labour to Singapore, but we cannot shield our workers from competition. The reality is that our workers will still be competing day and night, 24/7 with workers in China, India or Indonesia

Re-written: We heard you. So we’re going to scale back getting foreign workers in. But, you know what? Don’t think just because there will not be so many of them here, you can sit back and relax and collect your pay cheque every month. Don’t forget that the Chinese, Indians and Indonesians are working very hard in their own countries. If they make your company go bankrupt, then what you do?

Response: Yah lah. Yah lah. How many times you must repeat this?

Go to http://www.breakfastnetwork.sg for the New Normal Labour Market, What’s all this about giving transport operators money and the very minimal explanation against a minimum wage scheme

Where is the “no Lit” camp?

I have been waiting to read a view that opposes the “pro-Lit’’ camp who bemoan the dismally small number of students pursuing Literature as a subject. No dice. Perhaps, the volume level of the “pro-Lit’’ camp has drowned out the “no-Lit” camp; or perhaps, they can’t out-argue the pro-Lit camp, even though there must be oh, so many more of them who think that Literature is, well, rubbish. And even if not rubbish, the subject is simply not good enough for my child to take for his or her O levels.

I wonder why the silence? All this will do is show that the pro-Lit camp is correct. Their views go un-challenged because, having studied literature, they can analyse better, critique better and write better. That’s why the rest, illiterate louts better at the computer or calculator, simple have no response.

Okay, before you get me wrong, I belong to the “pro-Lit’’ camp although I can’t say that I fell in love with the subject in secondary school, where my teachers usually just made us read prose or poetry aloud and asked us to write essays. It was the teachers in junior college who showed me that literature is more than just reading the classics and Shakespeare. That language can be used in many ways, to appease, deceive, placate or outrage. That a story can contain many messages, even contradictory ones. And that there can be many points of view, and all of them could be right.

This is the reason for the perception that it’s hard to score in Lit. Unlike mathematics, there is no formula that leads to just one answer.

I’m glad that the teaching of Literature has advanced somewhat, going by what The Sunday Times reported. One article gave two examples of how lit is taught. For Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, for example, the teacher got his students to compare the “taming’’ with the taming of women in other societies through stories and plays by Jamaica Kincaid, Kyoko Mori, Maxine Hong Kingston and Stella Kon.

Academic Suzanne Choo gave the best reason for the study of literature: “While literature education does foster aesthetic appreciation and a taste for good writing, what we often forget is that when students are asked to respond to questions such as “What makes us sympathise with Okonkwo in Things Fall Apart”, “Is justice served at the end of Macbeth”, or “How does the writer develop the sense of irony in the poem Dulce Et Decorum Est”, they need to consider the underlying beliefs determining a character’s intentions and behaviour, thus affecting our feelings towards him or her, the different social-cultural values influencing how concepts such as justice are perceived, and the ways in which literary techniques contribute to the implied author’s philosophical proposition in the text. In short, these are questions requiring critical engagements with values.’’

The study of Literature isn’t about reading old books with old words. Or even new books with new words. It is about learning to read “critically’’ and to appreciate the way language is used to convey different meanings. I will go so far as to say that a background in literature makes you a bit more media literate (now.. that’s a term that’s terribly in vogue for those who think literature belongs to the Middle Ages or for the middle-aged).

We are surrounded by media and it takes a critical eye to sieve the wheat from the chaff, to grasp underlying messages and to spot flaws in logic. This is a useful skill in any economy. Someone who can do so will usually be able to formulate their thoughts better, organise an argument better or present a case better. They are open to differing views and have the language capacity to take it all in, so to speak. They are comfortable with “uncertainty’’; that there is sometimes no right answer, and we can all agree to disagree. Now if that is not a useful skill in any profession, I don’t know what else is. What is knowledge if you do not have the skill to communicate what you know and make yourself understood?

Enough of that.

I really want to hear from the other side of the fence. The schools which discourage literature as a subject, the parents who prefer that their children do mathematics, the students who think literature is a waste of time – where are you?
If you believe that literature is a “soft’’ subject and waste of time, as compared to say, a “hard’’ subject, tell us why. If you think there’s no money to be made specialising in literature, well, that’s probably true, but what about a basic grounding? If you think the problem is the way schools teach literature, then share with us your story.

We should hear from you too.

By the way….

A by-the-way by-election

Those who are not in the habit of reading The Straits Times editorials should read it today. Ignore the lame headline: Weighing the case for a by-election. The bottomline is: ST thinks that a Punggol East by-election should be held soon. Of course, it was carefully couched: “So on balance, it is perhaps best not to delay holding a by-election in Punggol East. Constituents’ expectations outweigh other considerations.’’

(Gosh. ST didn’t believe its own poll of residents which showed most can’t be bothered….!)
In any case, I am glad that after much meandering and huffing and puffing and having to make to case for and against, it came down to making a decision. I was intrigued though at the final paragraphs.

As in Hougang, Punggol East’s constituents should decide how seriously they take the personal failures of their former representative, and how they judge those shortcomings against the record of his party’s work for them. The party’s standing led to a win in Hougang. It is up to voters in Punggol East to decide if the same logic should apply. They should be given a chance to do so.

By the way, the party it referred to in Hougang is the Workers’ Party. So Yaw Shin Leong’s case of infidelity was too small for residents to decide that WP should be thrown out of Hougang. ST is saying that in the case of Punggol East, constituents have to decide if the same logic should apply: That is, whether Michael Palmer’s case is too small to throw out the PAP.
Very nice touch!

IP college? Why?

Everybody’s a-twitter, tittering and in a tizzy over the case of River Valley High principal in a CPIB probe. So there’s a woman involved apparently. Shades of Ng Boon Gay! Anyway, since nobody is really confirming anything and much of what the media is saying is speculation from unknown sources, I am not touching it.

I am more interested in this story about a new JC that will open in 2017 for students from three new Integrated Programme (IP) schools: Catholic High School, CHIJ St Nicholas Girls’ School and Singapore Chinese Girls’ School. It’s in the ST.
The students will spend their first four years in their respective secondary schools. They will spend the final two years of their IP programme at the new JC, which will also accept students from non-IP secondary schools. So now we have 13 JCs, after Innova in Woodlands opened in 2005.

It’s mighty odd. I thought the idea was for the IP kids to do their A levels in their old school, not move on to some other place. This means it’s no different from other JCs except that the three IP school students get a “free pass’’ so to speak, as others will have to rely on their O level results to get in – I presume. You mean three IP schools can’t do the last two years for the students? Why? Shouldn’t the students just sit for the O levels then and compete like everyone else for a place? MOE said more details will come and I hope it will not just be about how the new JC will have wonderful facilities and great teachers etc. We need an explanation of the rationale for this move.

Stressed out kids

I don’t know about you but I got pretty angry reading the page 1 of Today on what poly students said at the Singapore Conversation. They wanted a stress-free environment with a four-day work week. Which mean, they want their weekends plus a mid-week break. That’s because, said one, people will get tired over the week and would have to drag themselves to work on Fridays if they didn’t rest in between. And this is from someone who hasn’t yet entered the workforce full-time…Sheesh. Is this the sort of values we’re passing on to our next generation? What rubbish is this? Not even in the workforce and already talking about stress?

Are the students reading about what’s happening in Singapore today? About the tight labour crunch? Read BT’s page 1 today for a taste of what’s it like in the F&B industry where restaurants have to trim hours of operation because they can’t get foreign workers to work the kitchen or the tables. Go look at how the SMEs are doing – some are moving out because they can’t get staff. Are these jobs which the poly grads will do? The thing is, the underlying assumption in their request for stress-free work week is that they WILL definitely get a job when they graduate. The wish-list would be quite different if Singapore wasn’t so successful in providing jobs for the people.

You know, if our next generation can’t take the stress, then they might want to work part-time. It’s a popular offering among companies which offer flexi-work arrangements according to media reports today. But I suppose working part-time wouldn’t entitle you to same full-time benefits – and you can bet that people will howl at that. It’s a no-win situation. Our next generation wants no stress, all perks. It’s enough to make a Singaporean cry.

On flexi-work, I have no clue what ST was trying to do with the mass of numbers it was given. I think it believes it’s making reading easier but it doesn’t, especially since someone decided that some percentages should be converted to ratios of 10 and other fractions – but not others. You end up wondering what is less than one in 10 employers – half a body? And it just makes it tough to compare numbers when the base is different.
Take a look:

THE push to improve work-life balance through flexible arrangements is making slow progress. Just over four in 10 employers say they provide them, up from 38 per cent last year. But this mostly entails staff doing part-time work. Other options such as flexi-time or telecommuting were offered by less than one in 10 employers, according to a survey released yesterday by the Ministry of Manpower (MOM).
The poll of 3,500 private- and public-sector firms looked at employment conditions including working arrangements, leave entitlements and sick days taken. It found that 41 per cent of employers offer at least one form of work-life arrangement…
However, part-time work was by far the most common option, offered by a third of firms. All the other options were provided by fewer than one in 10 companies.
Flexi-time, the second most common, was offered by 8 per cent of firms. And just 4 per cent gave staff the option of telecommuting, which means using information technology to work from outside the office.

Take a look at this one par in Today. Isn’t it so much easier to read?

Forty-one per cent of establishments offered at least one form of work-life arrangement to their employees this year, up from 38 per cent last year. Working part-time was the most common work-life arrangement offered by 33 per cent of establishments. At a distant second was flexi-time (8.2 per cent), followed by staggered hours (7.5 per cent) and tele-working (4 per cent).

Educating Ah Boy

I have never thought Today as being very good on the graphics front, but I thought its display on how our students did in the international assessment tests was useful. It was nothing to shout about. But at least it was on Page 1, not tucked inside its bowels. And the statistics allowed a reader to absorb the information without the commentary that goes along with it as would invariably happen when there’s intervening test. TNP had a graphic too – a rather kiddy one.

The reason I am so hot on graphics is that for the big stuff, readers want the whole picture unembellished. And this being education-related, I’d bet that many would want to look at the details.

So I suppose we should give our education system a cheer that our students did so well vis-à-vis other children. But methinks ST was too quick to give the MOE the credit.

The fourth par said : The results validate the approach adopted by the Ministry of Education (MOE) more than a decade ago to trim syllabuses and allow more time for teachers to develop critical thinking skills in their students.

Who is saying this? ST? Besides verification, there is this thing called attribution. And the statement was not attributed. It is this sort of reporting and writing that does ST a disservice. It puts the newspaper too clearly on the G side, even if the statement is true.

It doesn’t matter if the attribution came much further down the story. Two-thirds of the way, the story said: MOE attributed the development of higher-order thinking skills to the syllabus cuts and the shift towards more inquiry-based teaching and learning in schools

Too late in the story, babe.

I looked at what Today said: While Mr Lim (Biow Chuan – the MP) felt that factors such as the rising education levels of parents and tuition classes could have contributed to the overall academic improvement, the Ministry of Education said that among other things, the results affirmed its effort to create room for self-inquiry skills over the years.

Practically the same thing, but put in the MOE’s mouth. It has the added value of having an “outsider’’ commenting on other non-MOE factors, instead of just having the officials and teachers patting themselves on the back.

By the way, I wonder if we should be worried about the children “knowing’’ less, even if they are “reasoning’’ and “applying’’ more as the assessment tests showed. Some things have to give, I suppose, when the school syllabus was cut down. Maybe we should send our students to a “knowledge’’ test as well to see how they fare.

I am glad that TNP highlighted one point on literacy from the survey. We are not quite fourth as the literacy survey showed, but actually No. 1 when you realise that it was literacy in the language of the assessment system. For a moment, I was taken aback that the Hong Kong and Russian students beat ours in literacy. But no, the Singapore students led the pack on the English language, ahead of Northern Ireland and the Americans.

Thank you TNP for pointing this out.

A short take on sex

Again a teacher, female as well. And the boy is in primary school! Reached puberty yet or not?  Okay, I am going to be crude here so don’t read on if you are sensitive: I suppose its sex with minor only and not with “corrupt intent’’? I mean, he didn’t get better grades or a choice spot in a secondary school or something, right? I don’t know how the CPIB thinks these days.

Well the law professor’s case is coming up – and that seems to be a sex-for-grades case. Don’t get me wrong. It’s bad if a teacher has sex with a student – they can always wait right till the student graduates. But it would be interesting to see what a legally train mind in the dock can bring to bear on this whole issue of sexual gratification, coming right after the Ng Boon Gay trial.

Small country, big movement

The PM has set out to defend three principles : the pursuit of economic growth - not at a “ridiculous high speed’’ but at about 2 to 3 per cent growth; an openness to foreigners and the system of meritocracy. I think that’s a good starting point to get the Singapore conversation more focused. Three big categories – and let’s see what sort of consensus we can achieve. Then sub-divided into smaller areas where this consensus can be re-calibrated on the policy front.

Actually there was one phrase PM which struck me: the results of “over-correction’’. You know, too many people praise Singapore for being efficient and organised. We’re small and nimble which means we can move fast. It’s one of the advantages of being a small country. So when we cut the CPF rate to help employers, everyone moves and so does the economy. One indication from on high and everyone falls in line. We take the cue, we follow. Good if the lead is a good one, but what will happen if we go the wrong course? The Singapore system will kick in and everyone will move – right down the wrong path.

I think I see some of this happening. Like the foreign workers tap being tightened. The G has come out several times to say that the approach hasn’t changed. That the numbers are still tied to how many Singaporeans are hired. But this is the Singapore system. One cue and everyone reacts. It’s not just about a policy change, it’s about the people who do what they think they are being asked to do.  So employers find it harder to get the employment passes renewed and find other stumbling blocks in the way. That’s because people down the line want to, well, toe the line. The effect is then a big effect, bigger than expected.

It’s the same thing too on the education front. Because the MOE says it doesn’t want to release the names of top students, principals suddenly think that they too should do likewise. Odd. Principals were quite happy to broadcast names in the past, and now they suddenly agree they shouldn’t? Is there no room for independent thinking?

I think that’s why people always look to the G for answers. If the G says so, it must be so and it will do so. And the Singapore system starts cranking. Very flattering for the G – and not necessarily the people.

Preparing for PSLE results Part 3

Diary of a Wimpy Kid (from a top school) Nov 23

Dear diary, I want to make an announcement. The top PSLE student is Wee Im Pee. Me! Me! Do you hear that? I can’t believe those newspaper people didn’t get their facts right. The top score isn’t 285. It’s 285.5. And that’s ME!

We were all very upset that my principal didn’t want to make any announcement yesterday. He locked me in the toilet and kept Mom and Dad in his office when the newspaper people came to the school. Grandma ran to talk to one reporter but she tripped. So now she’s in A&E. The newspaper people took a lot of pictures of her. She tried to tell them why she was there but none of them understood Hokkien.

So I had to sit on the toilet bowl for hours, reading and re-reading my PSLE results. I’m just glad that I beat Tee Yi and Chong Ming. These Chinese students study so hard that Dad was actually going to stop me from using my iPad. He thought I was playing online games! I was actually taking a Stanford University online course. You know, those free ones. He saw, then said, Ok, good boy.

So here is another announcement: The top PSLE student is… SINGAPOREAN! Yay!

Anyway, I looked at all the newspapers today and there’s no picture of me….Looks like most principals are scared of MOE. Except that Yishun principal in The New Paper. But the school’s top scorer only had 275 points! Okay, he’s also the head prefect and has some Eagle award. I suppose that’s part of this holistic and wholesome achievement that the G wants publicised.

But it’s not fair! I wanted to join the prefectorial board but my five private tutors said not to waste time. Also, a prefect has to “catch’’ bad boys and Mom and Dad didn’t think I should be involved with “bad elements’’. So I only became a class monitor.

You know, diary, there was this boy who said in The Straits Times that he wants to go to RI but was worried because it’s a school for “rich kids’’. Really? I never thought so. I mean, I would fit right in and my Dad only owns a Merc and a Ferrari.

My advice: Come on! Don’t be a wimp! Just go to RI! So many kids there with Very Important Parents. Very good to know them! Good for your future, so Dad says. Never mind if you take public transport to school, try to make friends with someone who gets driven to school. Oh, I forgot. Maybe you live in HDB. Not near anyone who has a car and driver…Anyway, I’m sure you will make plenty of friends. They will want to know what living in a HDB flat is like and whether public transport is really so bad. They will see it as broadening their “educational horizons’’.

Anyway, I’m just jealous that you got into the newspapers and I didn’t. Even Grandma didn’t get her picture in.

Preparing for PSLE results Part 2

Diary of a wimpy kid (from a top school) Nov 21

Hey, looks like I don’t have to worry about the newspaper people anymore! The ministry isn’t giving out the name-list of top scorers! Phew!

Mom and Dad aren’t too pleased about it though. They think the best students deserve some sort of recognition. I mean, they were top scorers too in their days. Dad was even a President’s scholar! They said it was nice to be in the spotlight. Also they could thank the people who helped them study. Dad even gave out a whole list of study tips to the newspapers! Mom said the newspaper published a photograph of her and her form teacher and Mrs Tan was so happy she had the article and picture framed and put up in the teachers’ lounge.

I wonder if my principal will announce the names of top scorers at least at some school assembly. Last year, we all went wooooah when the names of scorers were announced. So proud of our school! Almost as good when they announced that we won rugby, table-tennis and ballet! You know, if the newspaper people find me (I think Grandma is going to call them…news tip you know..) I will ask to be photographed with Mom, Dad, Grandma, my form teacher, my five private tutors, Maria, Lucia, Ah Tiong and Ali…But I don’t think it’s going to happen because I am reading about principals and teachers saying it’s a good thing. I suppose they don’t want to go against ministry policy and some code of conduct for teachers they have. Maybe they are not even allowed to pin up the names on the school notice board…

Sigh.

You know, even if I don’t get my name in the newspaper, maybe I will get an LKY award – then they HAVE to publish my name. Can’t offend the former Prime Minister right? I mean, is the ministry going to say: We have two winners for the LKY award but because we don’t want to emphasise academic results, we are not naming them.

You know, studying is what I am good at, but I think I had better take up some sport and be sportsman and win at some national schools championship. That’s clearly brawn. Like PSLE is clearly brain. Nobody minds schools and students that top the sports table. I better work on my golf handicap..

I think secondary school will be quite “relaxed’’ now. Everybody’s talking about a more relaxed school system. Maybe Mom and Dad will relax too…At least I don’t have to study for O levels, just A levels. In any case, no more secondary school O level ranking – not that my new school was a part of it. That O level ranking was actually meaningless for some years because so many top schools not even on it after the IP schools started! I can imagine how the IP schools sniffed at the old school ranking…Hah. What’s the big deal? It doesn’t really measure excellence…

Anyway, I’m glad I don’t even have to worry about taking part in this Singapore Youth Festival. No point. No award. Yay! I play the piano, the violin and the er hu quite well, you know. Now, I can just play for fun. Unless the principal forces me to join the SYF because the school wants to get picked for the Singapore Arts Festival. Must ask piano, violin and er hu tutors what to do then….

Dear diary, I am secretly hoping that I will be this year’s top student. But if I am, I might have to keep it a secret. Everybody else will ask me though. What should I tell them? I think I’ll just say I’m stupid.

Preparing for PSLE results

Diary of a wimpy kid (from a top school)
I think I’m going to be the top PSLE student this year. Actually, I’m sure of it. I mean, I am from GEP and already directly admitted into an IP school.

I wonder if the newspapers will publish my aggregate score. I read in The Straits Times today that some parents think it will stress them out, or stress out their kids in neighbourhood schools. Gosh! I should never say neighbourhood school.

Oh no, what will I do when the newspaper people come interview me? What if they ask me for my score? Can I tell them? I mean, I hope my score gets published. I worked so hard and all that.. and Mom and Dad will be so pleased to see a photo of me. Grandma too. My principal already got people to photograph me. He wants me on the school banner to publicise the school for next year’s school admission. I wonder if he’s still going to do it…I hope it’s a nice picture.

Maybe I shouldn’t give my score. I mean what will other students think of me? That I’m very proud and snobbish? Maybe I shouldn’t even say that I am from the GEP. Better to lie low and act stupid. I better tell them I live in a HDB flat. Maybe three-room? Not credible. Maybe executive condominium flat. But Dad is a doctor and mom is a lawyer and still living in HDB? Maybe I’ll just say we’re renting our Bukit Timah bungalow while our executive condo is being renovated. Dear diary, what do you think?

What if they ask me about my friends? Now they all want to know if we have friends from other schools, other races and all that. I only know Ah Tiong’s son. And that’s only when Ah Tiong picks me up from school and swings over to pick him up as well. That silly boy really likes Dad’s Merc. I keep telling him my Dad’s other car is a Ferrari. But he doesn’t understand what I’m saying…
So how? Ah Tiong’s son and who else? Can I count Ali’s daughter? I’ve seen her once or twice when she comes with Ali to do the garden. I better go find out her name…

Sheesh, this is silly. I should just say all of my friends are from my school and, just to be safe, blame the school system for not giving me “an opportunity to interact with students of other schools and other races’’. That’s a good quote I think. The school system, education system is a real good scapegoat these days. Can blame it for everything.

Must be careful not to appear elitist. Dad says must be humble. So I’ll just do an Oscar awards ceremony and thank everybody for making me what I am today. Ah! Another good quote. Must remember to use… Must also remember to thank Maria and Lucia. Will be a good touch to remember the maids. Or you don’t think so?

What if they ask if I’ve got tuition and all that? Should I say I have tuition every day and my five tutors are already preparing me for secondary school O levels? Maybe it will be good to show how concerned my parents are about my education. Or maybe not. People will say Dad and Mom are stressing out the other parents. Should also not say I can speak five languages, including Japanese which I picked up from that immersion programme in Tokyo. Cost a bomb but Dad say better go since everyone in class is… Hmm…better to throw in a few Hokkien phrases when they speak to me. Better find Grandma and ask her how to say in Hokkien that “I’m not smart. I am just hardworking’’.

This is very stressful. Maybe I won’t be top student. Then I won’t have to answer all these questions. I wish I was born poor and stupid.